We have previously posted the responsibilities of the bridesmaid but due to the alarming stories we have heard recently, we feel we need to give a little advice to brides who are struggling with bad bridesmaids. You have chosen your nearest and dearest to beside you on your wedding day. But what happens when this person starts to make things difficult for you?
Always, Always, Always a bridesmaid
This is the gal who has enough bridesmaid dresses to open her own boutique. She is going to tell you her opinion on dress selection and dismiss all of yours. None of the other bridesmaids want to be around her because she is a negative know-it-all who is trying to persuade the other’s to go against what the bride wants.
Problem: She hates the bridesmaid dress you picked out and is demanding you look elsewhere. The other bridesmaids are supportive of your decision and just want you to be happy.
Possible Solution: First, ask the bridesmaid what she doesn’t like about the dress. It could be a matter of the cost. Maybe it’s just a simple case of her not being able to afford it. If you don’t feel like addressing it with the bridesmaid will make things better, have someone who can be diplomatic do it. Have them tell the bridesmaid how their words are hurting the bride (You). The other solution is to choose the dress anyway and give the bridesmaid all of the gown information and let her do the rest. If she wants to participate, she will.
Shhh! Don’t tell the bride I’m pregnant!
This is the friend who has been secretly trying to get pregnant. When you asked her to stand next to you on her special day, she was 8 weeks pregnant and was afraid to tell anyone.
Problem: Instead of mentioning it to you, she stayed mum but truth is she will be 7 months pregnant by your wedding date. She doesn’t want to hurt you but she also doesn’t want to be in the wedding. So you go shopping for dresses and everyone else is ready to finalize their order except for her. She is dragging her feet. She finally tells you. Maybe even after the order has already been placed.
Possible Solution: This can be hurtful but there is one thing you should know. This person most likely didn’t do this with the intention of hurting you. When someone is trying to get pregnant this can be a sensitive subject. People don’t usually announce a pregnancy until after the first trimester. Let your bridesmaid know that you are happy for her but you wish she had told you sooner. If this person is close to you and still wants to be involved, maybe they can read a bible verse or help you in another way.
The Obligatory Bridesmaid
Including family in your bridal party can be a blessing or a nightmare. In order to prevent drama you might make a distant cousin or in-law a bridesmaid. This doesn’t always make for a good bridesmaid. If you don’t have a great relationship or worse a bad one, it could spell disaster for your wedding.
Problem: All of your bridesmaids have made deposits for their dresses. In order to make sure that all of the dresses come from the same dye-lot (cut from the same color fabric) you have to have everyone place their orders soon. All of your bridesmaids are in danger of possibly having to pay a rush fee because of the one bridesmaid who hasn’t placed her order and isn’t making this a priority. They are also dodging phone calls and email from you.
Possible Solution: First ask yourself why you made this person a bridesmaid. Did you do it to make someone else happy? We would recommend first contacting this person and explaining the situation. If the answer you get is rude or worse none at all, contact the person you are trying to please by allowing this bridesmaid to be in the bridal party. Example: Your fiance’s sister is the person in question and you were doing it to make him happy. After attempting to do everything you can yourself, try going to your fiance or future mother-in-law and ask their advice. Hopefully this gives you the solution you need to either rectify the situation or move on from it. This can be the most difficult bridesmaid to have.
The function of a bridesmaid is to support her bride on one of the most important days of her life.Whatever happens, remember that this is your day. Don’t worry about people thinking you are Bridezilla for wanting cooperative bridesmaids. Purchasing a bridesmaid dress when asked is the very least they can do for you. Brides who order bridesmaids dresses from us get the red carpet treatment. Wonderland Bridal is Team Bride! Please call us to schedule your appointment today.